“Hey, want to come back to my place and check out my newborn kittens?”

“This morning I was planting raspberries and had an idea about state power.”

And one, far too forward but in context less so, which was used on me, but I had to decline:

“Do you have a copy of A Thousand Plateaus near your bed I could borrow?”

But I’ve heard an even hotter line recently..

“I’m writing a book chapter called ‘Theory as Party-Starter’ for a Deleuze collection”

Referencing yourself is a long tradition and has many rules, but I suggest the rather more fun method of : ‘In this, I merely refer to myself.(1)’

(1) - Me

“Sorry, I don’t sleep with formalists.”

(actually used by a friend of mine.)

The term ‘theoryslut’ comes to mind, although not together the best term for academic discourse. It did the round of blogs a while ago as a sort of quiz - along the lines of “which kind of theorist would you be most likely to try and sleep with”, the assumption being that theorists are automatically on the to-do list of a broader group of theorysluts, who we can assume are largely made up of postgraduate students in humanities departments the world over.

Theory people have crushes on each other all the time, that’s what a culture of mutual referencing and appreciation involves, doesn’t it? Isn’t there at least one form of foreplay in the acknowledgment page of every thesis? There’s something in the reptilian part of our mind that sees mutual reading lists as an automatic potential mate, certainly until we get our fingers burnt a few times and learn to be more discerning.

(aside - The Theory People would make a great band name / Dr. Who vilian / enemy in a post-modern superhero comic.)

The English department at unimelb (apart from being absurdly sexy) are probably reigning world masters of the theory pick-up, but there’s a lot of literati-sexy to draw on as well, so the line is blurred. I’ve seen groups of them go out, both major sexes and all persuasions, as if it was buffalo hunting.

My cinema studies department is a lot more subdued, but what we make up in bombast we make up in sheer attractiveness. Cinema people are usually to be found having mussy-haired 8am coffees with wanting-to-be-struggling-but-struggling-even-at-that artists and cultural well-to-dos. I think this is because only a certain type of person can be picked up with a Fassbinder reference.

You should ask everybody if someone’s theory background has even made anybody more attractive, or vice versa. Gather anecdotes.

Also, remember that theory is often a party-breaker. Someone mentions post-structuralism and it can often be the end of a night.

-Christian

I call them the “hobbit philosophers”.

I also resent what I see as the prevalent attitude among these men - that chicks do ‘fluffy’, ‘pop-culture’ research and are only accepted as potential sexual partners for the men; or they do hardcore theory and are fetishised as theory sex goddesses. It makes me fucking sick.

It’s only when I go to conferences and see other universities’ friendly, respectful and collegial research cultures that I realise how freakish the English department is. I am so glad to be out of there.

I’ve only seen people from English in action socially, and may not be part of this mad macho clique you’re describing. I was only describing them in pick-up mode, which is part of the aggression you’re talking about. I certainly know a couple of people have run screaming from that place with similar experiences.

.. but like I said, I don’t know. I’m aware of that kind of attitude about continental philosophy and the denigration of women theorists in people I’ve met in the past. If it really is institutional there, then holy shit.

“My thesis is about [theorist].” Me: “Oh yes, what about [theorist]?” “Oh no, it’s a monograph about [theorist].”

Jesus christ. I’ve had that conversation this very week. Verbatim.

Sorry unimelb mel, but I like sometimes being a theory-nerd. Not for sex, of course, even though the thought is quite I-got-hole-in-my-bucket fun, but because of my mechanic tendencies thwarted by this notion that ‘I wanna be an academic’ (sung to the tune of Jill Sobule’s cracker), hence becoming more-academic-than-academic and achieving nerderness. Although I am more of a kind of Booger nerd than anything else… in fact I have been inspired…

done! haha!