Brisbane Real Estate 101

Posted on | June 29, 2005 |


Talkin’ the talk

I am so popular now that I am looking for a house. My phone doesn’t stop ringing with agents trying to find out my thoughts. On the weekend I looked at probably 10 places in total. I now understand a few things:

1. ‘Charming Queenslander’ means a tiny house on a derelict and/or large block of land;
2. ‘Excellent investment’ means you wouldn’t want to live in the place but some other poor bastard would as you bleed them dry;
3. ‘East Brisbane’ and ‘Kangaroo Point’ will never mean close to the river, ever;
4. ‘Townhouse’ means you will be able to fit a queen size bed in your bedroom and possibly walk around it but you will have to keep your curtains closed at all times because there are so many other townhouses built on the same block (on which once stood a ‘charming Queenslander’);
5. The area I currently live in is affordable and convenient and close to schools but boring for someone used to ‘the buzz of cafe society’;
6. ‘Trendy renovations’ should always be avoided;
7. Boys do not know how to clean showers

Category: Out in Vegas

Comments

6 Responses to “Brisbane Real Estate 101”

  1. jeremy
    June 29th, 2005 @ 12:00 pm

    boys do too know how to clean showers, but i do not doubt that some boys may not be able to perceive dirt the same way that some girls do.

  2. melgregg
    June 29th, 2005 @ 1:08 pm

    ah, jeremy, perhaps i should have said brisbane boys! tho i totally agree with you… there is much yet to be written about this perception/tolerance gap - one which no doubt explains aspects of this relentless debate as well.

  3. Rowan
    June 30th, 2005 @ 9:43 am

    on the subject of real estate speak, my personal favourite, used by one agent to describe my humble abode, is ‘kooky arty’. translated, this meant, ‘well, someone would probably buy this place, but not me!’ rather than be offended, I decided this was a good thing.

  4. Ian
    June 30th, 2005 @ 2:06 pm

    One Bedroom App = Studio App
    Studio App = Closet

    I can have a clean shower or a clean toilet, I’m incapable of having both clean at the same time. It feels unbalanced.

  5. Glen
    July 2nd, 2005 @ 9:37 am

    hmmm, I hate real estate agents. I hope I never meet a nice person who then turns out to be a real estate agent because I could never be a friend of a real estate agent. The police are traditionally from the working classes who grow up to protect the property from those who do not have any. In my experience, real estate agents are also of the working class, but instead of protecting property they are in the service of ‘property owning classes’ by managing it and facilitating its exchange. Their job seems to be to extract maximum ‘rent’ from everybody. Maybe the real estate industry should be government run…

  6. Jon
    March 6th, 2007 @ 8:59 pm

    Real Estate prices are due to supply and demand.

    Blame baby boomers, not real estate agents.

    Baby boomers came from large families, all having free university education (which they abolished once they graduated) leading to higher paying jobs. This ofcourse caused the real estate prices to skyrocket in Sydney.

    They then sold these prize properties, bought a house for their only child (plus spouse, but in their name incase things go south)and moved to Brisbane for a better lifestyle. Being cashed up they think nothing of paying under a million for a place within 10 mins of the CBD, pricing locals out.

    All while using a Health System they contributed nothing to during their taxpaying years.

    I dont think real estate agents did anything wrong (though most are jerks, I know one good one)

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