Change of plans
Posted on | May 15, 2006 |
I haven’t written much lately - firstly because there is an exciting new updated blog design on the way and I have been looking forward to coming back new and improved (no pressure, Nick!). But also I’ve been a bit reticent to say that I’ve had to pull out of going to the Crossroads in Cultural Studies conference in Istanbul (the one that I’ve been helping to organise and that I had planned to speak at - not once but twice). Three of my fellow panellists pulled out at the last minute. Besides being frustrating, this made it hard to justify going to the other side of the world, especially to speak with someone I can fly to Sydney to see in an hour. While I also had the association work to contribute to, that kind of work isn’t treated as research output in terms of the faculty grant I’d be travelling on nor hiring committees who will be looking at my publication record in a year’s time. Plus the grant would only be covering half of my airfare, leaving me severely out of pocket. I have since realised that people now plan two panels for international conferences on the presumption that at least one will fall through. Yet another annoying quirk of academic life: people not thinking about whether they will actually be able to do something they say they will do. I’m beginning to realise that one of the most important skills to learn in this business is to say ‘no’ often enough.
The trouble with a conference as big as Crossroads is that you are lucky to have even a dozen people come to a parallel session. If you are coming from any distance (and Australia always is) the other panellists really do have to be worth the time and effort to get to meet. Of course, going to an international conference the size of Crossroads is always worth inestimable amounts in terms of exposure to new ideas, international trends, general networking and being seen, but for the moment I feel like I’ve done enough of that; indeed, that my own research is beginning to be affected by prioritising conference attendance over engaging in longer periods of research.
It’s hard to start thinking so strategically. But, on a personal level, I don’t want to be the kind of academic that speaks at every possible opportunity. I want to be able to be proud of the research I present, and it is nearly impossible to do that when you are only ever writing to the next conference deadline. I also want to be able to look after myself, and the environment - going to an international conference because I can doesn’t mean that I should. So, at this stage I’m staying in Australia for the rest of the year. I’m gonna read books. I’m gonna write stuff. I think that’s what a research fellow is supposed to do, at least some of the time.
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